jessica-n-davidsmommy (mommy2bin08) wrote in pregnancy101,

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Soon to be new mom

Im new to the community.  I am having a baby girl feb.  What i want to know will my worrys of not being a good parent go away?  Im so scared in gonna screw up.  Also im going to breastfeed i was told it hurt really bad but then was told it dont can anyone share there breastfeeding tory with me?  If you feel ok with that.


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Hello and congratulations! You are 3 months older than I am (I peeked at your profile) and I just had my sixth child in August. I have nursed everyone of my babies and would be happy to answer any and all questions I can for you.
Worrying about being a good parent? That's not going to go away, and it's normal and HEALTHY...parenting is hard work and taking that for granted sets you up for a big shock. Is there a specific thing you are worried about? As I said, I read your profile. You already love this baby and want to do what's best for it. Keep that your focus, research what you need to know, pray, and do your best. That's all you can do and it's all you need to do. Don't let your fear paralyze you, let it motivate you! You won't be a perfect parent; no one is. It's ok. Be consistent and dependable with both your love and your training. Most of all, don't lose the joy a child brings you! When it's hard and your tired and she cries constantly and breaks your coffee pot (this happened to me today) remember the joy she brings you and wonder at the complete little person you and your husband made. When you screw up, apologize and ask forgiveness from her and forgive yourself and start over. It's like any hard thing you do except this one is so much more worth it.
I'm getting a bit wordy. Sorry. I love my kids though and I love being a mother and I love talking about it.
Breastfeeding? First piece of advice: find a good lactation consultant. Second piece of advice: ignore just about everyone else. LOL I think I have probably been through most breastfeeding issues at some point between my six kids. There have been times it hurt, and hurt badly. But mostly it has been wonderful. Research! Find people who believe in nursing but who aren't "Nursing Nazis" for support. This is a good site: Most problems mom's have while breastfeeding can be worked through and fixed. I generally recommend to people who really want to nurse that they should commit to nursing for at least six weeks. If they make it that long they will probably make it the whole way. The first six weeks are often the hardest. Find out everything you can, do your best, and relax. Relaxing helps breastfeeding. Also, don't tell some of my friends I said this, but if breastfeeding doesn't work out, your daughter is not going to be screwed up for life.
If you have any specific questions or want some more wordy reassurance or just want to talk to you can friend me or email me or comment on my journal...however you like. Being a mom is scary but GREAT and I love to share that with people.
My biggest fear is i will mess up her life. My life hasnt been the best. I want what is best for her and im afraid i wont be able to PROVIDE for her. Im afraid my mother in law will try to take her. She always wanted a girl and she had 3 boys. Shes trying to take all the joy from the stuff i want to do. 1. nursery *has to be her way or no way*
2. Breastfeeding *wants me to do it in front of people*
3. Shes mad about the name that frank and i chose *jessica (my stillborn sister) Alyn (after franks friend alan that died in a wreck) we love this name and shes not happy

When shes not happy no ones happy and i get stressed and my BP has been up 159/93. *its 127/78 today* But i think thats because im at my moms and not at home.

Ok my mother in law *know it all* wants me to pump my breastmilk like before she gets here but i hear the FIRST milk is the most important. I dont want to pump early but when i tell her that she gets mad. Shes basically trying to take this baby girl. We live with them. Is there an easy way for me to let her down easy about pumping and also being firm about my desicion?

Oh well im just rambling. I dont get to ramble alot i do apolagize.

LOL its ok my profile is public. :)
Tell her that you respect her, you love her BUT this baby is yours not hers. Tell her whatever way this baby is being raised is you and your s/o's decision NOT hers. Just because you live with her doesn't give her the right to tell you how to raise the child. Sure, she can SUGGEST things, but in the end YOU are her mother, YOU have final say. If she doesn't like that, then you'll just have to be harsh with her. Yes I know, drama, but you don't need stress, and you need to feel comfortable being her mommy.

Just sit down and have a NICE chat on how you feel. Tell her that the stress is making you ill and to PLEASE be more kind AT LEAST during the pregnancy.

I specialize in know-it-all mother in laws...oh and other kinds of mother in laws that start with a B and end in ITCH lol

Any questions you can email me, come over to my journal, or ask right here.

Good luck :)
There's also a breastfeeding community here on LJ: breastfeeding. They are great for answering questions and getting reassurances.

There is not open membership

Hello, congratulations.
Well, for some people breastfeeding can be painful at first but then be just fine. Normally if it hurts it means that the baby has an improper latch.
I've never had an issue with breastfeeding and I've nursed 2 babies.
Engorgement hurts, so feed often and if you can't, express the milk and save it.
despite popular belief, babies don't bite your nipple. I am nursing a almost 3yr old and he's never bitten me.
BF is the best for your baby, so that's agreat decision!
I have nursed my son from 1hr old (he had swallowed poop so i could right from birth, though I wanted to)and he's still nursing now, he'll be 3yrs old in May.
My daughter, I only nursed for a month. I was oyung and niave and had a badly infected c-section scar. Oh and despite popular beliefs, you CAN have natural after a c-section (just in case you need one this time, for next baby *wink*). Oh and c-sections don't hurt, staples don't hurt either. They pinch a little coming out though but not much.
If you have any question just ask.

Oh and I specialize in shitty mother-in-laws too ;) lol